"Masala" mix

After a really tiring day, of working, (or rather trying to work), nothing is more relaxing than nursing a cold mountain dew and some hot snacks, while watching a movie. So when my friend called me for a movie at NBRC's movie club, I went, and gladly. So, there I was in the hall, minus the snacks and dew, but in the AC. It was a Rahul Bose movie, Showrya. The heroine gave a sparkling performance of what not to do in a movie, a sharp contrast to Demi Moore in A Few Good Men, of which this movie is a rip off. An Indianized rip off, as is the trend now... Take an old Hindi/Tamil/Malayalam/Bengali movie, and "Westernize" it with short skirts for the girls and long braided hair for the men, or take an HBO movie and "Indianize" it with lame "catchy" dialogues, copious amount of tears and a parellel family story which shows the strength of Indian spirit but has nothing whatsoever to do with the story. Sheesh, these people need a lesson on how to copy... Although on second thoughts I guess I should thank them because I usually end up having a field day wacthing them with friends and relish tearing the movie apart.

So, sitting there comfortably in the AC, my mind wandered, and I was (rightly so) berating myself for coming to see a new hindi movie. I had long ago switched to hollywood due to the following aberrations I had made...

1) Kaal- Quite possibly the worst movie EVER made in the history of hindi cinema... with the backing of Karan Johar, Shah rukh.... An absolutely "FANtAsTIC" story about... well about... its... jungle... tigers.... ghosts.... gay couples... not-so-gay couples... jeeps... night... item numbers in between, (well, i've successfully imitated the style of direction here!!!)

2) Kal Ho Na Ho- I am not brain dead enough to enjoy watching one man dying for 3 hours...

3) Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna- Let me explain. The only reason I even saw this movie is because they played it on the bus on my way back from B'lore, really loud. It was either watch it... Or watch it. I actually lost sleep over this worthless piece of shit which tries to justify extra-marital affairs. Rip off from desperate housewives??? Or is it the epitome of the original Indian movie? I have to wonder.

4) Raaz- Now, I have to hand it to the script writers of this movie for exquisitely butchering the story of What Lies Beneath.

5) Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gum- Ah, a perfect example of actors with copious tears syndrome. the story line is... well... just... too profound to be explained by someone like me afraid.

I realized at this point that I could go on with infinite number of songs and movies which portray the rich culture and heritage of India. Like Om Shanti Om, Murder (from Unfaithful), Humraaz (from a perfect murder), deewangi (from primal fear), Tumsa nahin Dekha (pretty woman), nishabd ( american beauty), aawara pagal deewana ( the whole nine yards). Phew, I was exhausted. I decided not to tax my neurons by thinking about the songs and the oh-so-demure, docile women who preserve the "culture" and "feel" of old songs(when remixed).

My attention back on the screen, I saw the rest of the movie commenting and wishing I was in my own room, watching an old original Guru Dutt or Dilip Kumar movie, simple stories, down to earth and truly entertaining, or an nth viewing of the illusionist or requiem for a dream. And I thought about meaningful new movies like Bawander and Water (which due to controversies within India was backed by Canadian sponsors and as a result was nominated for an Oscar from Canada) which some people have not even heard of.

Its true that the supply caters to the demand... I'm deeply ashamed to say that I'm a part of the society which would rather see Salman bare his steroid pumped muscles (yuck) rather than an off-beat movie like provoked. Although with movies like Lagaan, black, Chak de India and Taare Zameen par getting due credit, the Indian public and subsequently Bollywood has a long way to go to achieve the maturity and class so apparent in hollywood movies. And until then, let me get back to my lays and dew and Schindler's List... Meanwhile, for those of you interested in the list of hindi movie rip offs, check out this web-page... a hint on what movies to stay clear off...
http://www.akhilesh.in/life/india/bollywoodinspirations.php